does this mean ive made it? no.

http://Vimeo.com/efx/speakforyourself

im the one with the low, sultry voice in the white button up.

These Spanks Hurt More Than You Would Think

Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to throw up than count the calories.

It seems to work for my friends. 

I mean they get to wear size 5 clothes and go on dates with cute boys.

They don't get judged.

But I know if I did my mother would die.

But I would probably die first.

I don't want to die. 

I just don't want to be the biggest girl in my friend group anymore.

area codes must be different outside of paris

hello...?

is anyone looking at this post on another screen?

can you hear me?

because i'm screaming through this Arial font as if i was on the phone line with 911.
i'm screaming and no one is even flinching at the sound.
are you all just so used to me calling that you let the phone ring until i get your voicemail?
or have your phones all been disconnected?

am i just that annoying blog that still can't leave Paris?




can you hear me?






can you....

THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED HAS BEEN CHANGED

The Reaper has a Thing for Greasers

he sits in the shed next to the propane heater

pulls out a cig, lights it so cooly

that the angel of death swoons slightly at the sight

he's got nothing to loose 

now that he's hairline fractured a few hearts

to try and compensate for the shattered one 

barely pumping in his chest

so he takes in a deep draw

and holds it in his lungs

as though to turn death on

as though to tell his body he's had enough pain

caused by others

as though to tell himself that it is only 

he who can hurt him now

so he blows a ring of smoke to the reaper

and smiles

because he may be flirting with the death,

but he'll never kiss her on the mouth






dedicated to Benji Shell

Kirsten

and it kills me that I've lived through more deaths than birthdays

A Haiku

High school is a bitch.

The boys just want to have sex.

Please just let me leave.

Here's a List of Things That Bother Me

1. The Patriarchy
2. That all final projects are due the same week
3. My performance at Speak For Yourself
4. Numbered list

• My TMJ
• The fact that I am attracted to Colin Firth and have been since the age of 7
• Mel Gibson
• People that take pictures of their Starbucks orders
• Jaywalkers
• My lack of will to do anything of importance
• How the mythology in the Marvel version of Thor is completely inaccurate
• My weight
• Taxes and the fact that I now must legally pay them
• That Coffee Crisps are not sold in the United States
• Shaving my legs
• 14 year olds who smoke pot and feel the need to tell us all about it
• That Jason Derulo says his name in every single one of his songs
• My new manager at work and his general creepiness
• ModBod’s
• Intense sports fans
• The fact that we start school at 7:45 am and get out of school at 2:15
• Asthma
• When girls act stupid to get attention
• When boys act stupid to get attention
• PDA
• When my cat throws up on the carpet
• My future student loans
• The fact that I’m bothered by my weight
• Gender Inequality
• Tumblr’s post limit
• Second hand smoking
• Children from the ages of 0-21   *I’m 18 years old
• My Humanities project that’s due tomorrow
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
• Unfinished lists

P.S. I couldn't write about death this week.

You know why.