no.6

Honestly, I have no idea how to write about death.

Have I experienced the death of family and friends?

Yes.
I have.
Many times.

Too many times actually.

But my experiences with it will probably mean absolutely nothing to you.

Because in reality, death is different to every single person.

To some it may be a relief.

To others is may be the heaviest burden of all.

And to few, it may even be a joyous experience.

I don't know what you know.

I can't feel what you have felt.

I cannot possibly understand how it is for you.

So how can I in good conscious persuade you to think one way about death if you won't understand what I'm trying to provoke in you?

I have no right to shove my thoughts about this subject down your throat when its so personal.

Maybe in a sense I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

It's still too personal for me.

I guess I don't want to talk about having my second parents dragged out of my front door at all hours on stretchers by strangers.

I guess I don't want to talk about how the girl who saved my life had her's taken away, in what felt like seconds.

I guess I'm not ready to talk about how I faced being killed everyday for two years, and having to have an FBI agent teach me how to check my tail and hide in my basement if shots were fired.

I guess I'm not ready to talk about digging graves for my cats yet.

I guess I just don't want to show you that side of me yet because frankly, I don't trust you.

Yet here I am.

Your untrusting therapy patient,
Charles Darnell