human's ask dumb questions

could you ever love me?
honestly, think about it.
could you ever imagine having strong feelings of passion, lust, and caring towards me?
ever?

actually never mind.
don't answer that.

i don't want to know.



no actually i do want to know.

do i ever make you forget what you were going to say?
do you ever blush when you do something you think i think is stupid?
do you ever lay in bed at night and wonder what foods make me break out in a rash?
do you ever wish you knew what my chapstick tasted like?
do you think about me at all?


i doubt it.

but i think about you.



i guess that what makes me human.

and i doubt you think those things because you seem less of a human and more of a god.

but i sure hope you're human.
it would make things a lot easier.



i'll shut up now,

Charles Darnell

paris

i'm having withdrawals 

                   i didn't know you could be homesick for a place that's 

not even a place

shit

list of things i want and possibly need

• 11 hours of sleep
• free wifi everywhere
• Jean Dujardin
• more poems written by Kyle Nelson
• cashmere sheets
• spanks that make me a size 4
• ..... or maybe just becoming a size 4
• french fries with various aiolis
• Merlin season 6
• The Phantom (played by Jean Dujardin)
• a copy of the Paris Mixtape (which is actually a cd)
• more slam poetry in the little theater
• the identity of Benji Shell
• a bottle of the cologne worn by Jean Dujardin
• Paris

 

...... damn you Dujardin.

I-84

let's run away to the Oregon coast
i've been craving pebbles against my feet and fog in my hair
and i think you have too
we've been to Paris and back and now we need to be alone
we know who we are and who the tourist are
and we know we're locals wherever we go now
i know that you know that i love you
and i think you might love me too
but only the road trip there will tell
we'll drive through the desserts and forest
but all we'll see are art museums and arc de triomph's
and you would hold my hand and i would loose interest in Raoul
and you would smile with real intent and i would laugh with real intent
and life would be a little easier
and when the road ends at the beach we would get out of the car and run to the shore
and the tide would run to us with open arms and tears in it's eyes
the tide would kiss our feet and welcome us home
and you would kiss me and i would kiss you and the stars would kiss the fog
bliss would fill the mist like an aerosol drug and we would be happy


we would be happy










we would be happy

Testimony Meeting

In my church, every month people are expected to go up to the pulpit and say what they know is true. Of course they talk about what they believe to be true about our gospel, but I’m not even sure if I think its true yet. All I know are real things but they aren’t exactly things you can say in a religious facility. And I’ve kept these things bottled up for so long, and I feel like you are the only ones who will somewhat understand what I’m talking about and not excommunicate me from humanity. 

So here is my testimony.

I know that bras are uncomfortable and that Mel Gibson scares the living hell out of me. I know that french onion soup only taste good when you put half a bottle of chardonnay and two sticks of butter in it. I know that I’m socially awkward and I’m sorry, I know it makes you uncomfortable but I’m trying my best. I know that my therapist is frustrated with me because I won’t tell him anything about myself when It’s just us in his office, but here I am naked in front of you and I can tell you everything. How ironic.

All I know is that I have the voice of a man and the body of a 1940’s bombshell. All I know is that I have acquaintances that call me friends but in all actuality they wouldn’t even know if I had died yesterday. All I know is that I weigh more than 87 percent of the girls here. All I know is that those bruises my mom saw on my legs weren’t caused by bumping into a corner like I said they were.

All I know is that I love him.

All I know is that I don’t love him. 

All I know is that he is a coward.

All I know is that the most beautiful girl died in March at age 17. All I know is that she never got to feel hot, lustfull lips against hers and that kills me. All I know is that she’s touching stars and I guess that’s more of a rush.

All I know is that I’m tired

All I know is that my virginity is about the only thing left that people haven’t screwed with.

All I know is that gender roles are shit and that feminism should be called common sense. 

All I know is I’ve been called fat 37 times too many.

All I know is words.

All I know is grey.

All I know is how the pacific kisses the shore but I don’t know if the sea even has feelings for the sand.

All I know is that I’ll miss this.

I’ll miss lloyd and benji and paul nelson. 

I’ll miss this class being the only place where it’s socially acceptable for me to talk to popular people.

I’ll miss being who I really am.

All I can say is thank you.

Just, thanks.

Yours truly,

Charles Darnell