A Haiku

High school is a bitch.

The boys just want to have sex.

Please just let me leave.

Here's a List of Things That Bother Me

1. The Patriarchy
2. That all final projects are due the same week
3. My performance at Speak For Yourself
4. Numbered list

• My TMJ
• The fact that I am attracted to Colin Firth and have been since the age of 7
• Mel Gibson
• People that take pictures of their Starbucks orders
• Jaywalkers
• My lack of will to do anything of importance
• How the mythology in the Marvel version of Thor is completely inaccurate
• My weight
• Taxes and the fact that I now must legally pay them
• That Coffee Crisps are not sold in the United States
• Shaving my legs
• 14 year olds who smoke pot and feel the need to tell us all about it
• That Jason Derulo says his name in every single one of his songs
• My new manager at work and his general creepiness
• ModBod’s
• Intense sports fans
• The fact that we start school at 7:45 am and get out of school at 2:15
• Asthma
• When girls act stupid to get attention
• When boys act stupid to get attention
• PDA
• When my cat throws up on the carpet
• My future student loans
• The fact that I’m bothered by my weight
• Gender Inequality
• Tumblr’s post limit
• Second hand smoking
• Children from the ages of 0-21   *I’m 18 years old
• My Humanities project that’s due tomorrow
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
• Unfinished lists

P.S. I couldn't write about death this week.

You know why.

Coffee

She liked her men like she liked her coffee.

In any way, shape, or form.

Because she was thirsty.

My Fear at 10:34 am on March 6th, 2014

I'm scared to get close to her.
Because she's in the hospital.
And I'm scared that by the time I get to touch her hand,
It will be cold and unmoving.

Because that's what happened last time.

Yes Ma'am I'm Calling To Book A Session With Kip

Somebody please find me the name of the feeling of emptiness in the sternum.

The feeling of hopelessness and despair in my chest must have a name.

The doctors call it S.A.D.

That I get it from a lack of vitamin D.

So tell me, why is there a gaping hole in bosom and it's been sunny for a week?

Tell me why the bruises are wanting to come back for a reunion tour. Tell me why i haven't done any homework this month. Tell me why I can't fall asleep at night but can't get up in the morning. Tell me why I can't even look at him without feeling unworthy. Tell me why I feel empty Dr. Murdock.

Tell me why I'll binge. Tell me why I wear spanks when I don't need to. Tell me why I straight up lied to her a Muse when I said I have a positive body image. Tell me why I'm giving up. Tell me why I tried to help her eat dinner when that day I skipped lunch because my jeans felt too tight. Tell me why I can't write anymore.

Because I don't think the definition of S.A.D. covers all of that Doctor.

I don't need a pamphlet on depression sir I need a pamphlet on how to get my life together. Because I can't do it anymore.

So please, write me a prescription for 2 pills of anti-stress and 1 pill of bliss. And maybe a prescription for me to get the balls to visit my therapist.

Take care of me Doctor.

Because I can no longer pretend to do it myself.

*insert Lizzie McGuire reference here*

so here's the thing




i want to kiss your face





and i want to talk to you about food in your car



and i want to hold your hand





and i want to watch movies with you



like Hot Rod




because you like it



and i mean i do too


but i'd want to watch it mostly because you'd want to



i also want to just be able to call you if i need a break




so we could get in your car and drive to a Dairy Queen or something







i just want to know you






and i know that you probably don't want to know me on a more personal level





and that's ok





and even though you probably don't want to kiss my face





i'd still like to see you on the weekends





if you just want me to be Gordo before the Lizzie McGuire movie that's ok with me





because he was happy for the most part



and i'd rather be pretty happy being your friend




than feeling great on my own








ok







that's it