The feeling of hopelessness and despair in my chest must have a name.
The doctors call it S.A.D.
That I get it from a lack of vitamin D.
So tell me, why is there a gaping hole in bosom and it's been sunny for a week?
Tell me why the bruises are wanting to come back for a reunion tour. Tell me why i haven't done any homework this month. Tell me why I can't fall asleep at night but can't get up in the morning. Tell me why I can't even look at him without feeling unworthy. Tell me why I feel empty Dr. Murdock.
Tell me why I'll binge. Tell me why I wear spanks when I don't need to. Tell me why I straight up lied to her a Muse when I said I have a positive body image. Tell me why I'm giving up. Tell me why I tried to help her eat dinner when that day I skipped lunch because my jeans felt too tight. Tell me why I can't write anymore.
Because I don't think the definition of S.A.D. covers all of that Doctor.
I don't need a pamphlet on depression sir I need a pamphlet on how to get my life together. Because I can't do it anymore.
So please, write me a prescription for 2 pills of anti-stress and 1 pill of bliss. And maybe a prescription for me to get the balls to visit my therapist.
Take care of me Doctor.
Because I can no longer pretend to do it myself.
We are the same. In different ways of course, but in the same way. I don't know what is the matter with me but I can't seem to get my life together and I have a constant headache thinking about everything and it's all too much and this is probably the most relatable/comforting thing I have read all year so thank you for always knowing what I am feeling and making in sound brilliant
ReplyDelete"Tell me why the bruises are wanting to come back for a reunion tour."
ReplyDeletethis sentence has so much ouch and the smallest ounce of comedy at the end and that says so much to me and I'm writing this somewhere. because it isn't funny, it isn't. reunion tour.
"I don't need a pamphlet on depression sir I need a pamphlet on how to get my life together."
ReplyDeleteAll of this. Real life. The title. Thank you for getting me dinner by the way. I miss you.