no. 0

   My skin is my pride and joy. It is so clear that you can see the blood of royalty and poverty pumping through the crevices of the veins laying just underneath. My skin is the only thing that keeps me together, you know, other than societies rules of what I should and should not do or say. My skin has flaws. It is covered in moles, freckles, birthmarks. They keep me from being perfect, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

   My eyes are the window into my soul. The blue grey mirror that lies behind bedroom eyelid curtains shows the glimmering pool of my being that is just waiting for someone to swan dive with abandon into. The closer you get to the pupil, the darker and deeper the pool gets. No one has survived swimming in the deep end of my pool, or at least no one has tried. I put up warning signs of caution to protect the swimmers from the deep and dark ends, yet I don't want them to be scared of the darkness. I want them to embrace the darkness. I want them to find beauty in the black lagoon of me.

   My hands are small, dainty, petite, gentle, nimble, see feminine. My hands are the tools that jot down the mumbling thoughts and the raging rants that haunt my mind. My hands are my humble servants. They have been through hell and back, yet are still able to let me jot down thoughts or scribble doodles. They are still loyal to my cause. My hands bring down the barrier between me and society. They let me write how I feel and let me embrace the people that call me friend, lover, child. My hands, are what let me write this introduction to myself. My hands, are what open the door to be myself in disguise. My hands put on my mask.

   I'm Charles Darnell. Charles Darnell is who I really am. I am proud of myself, and I am proud to wear this dignified name. I wish I could be myself all the time, and not just be myself when I'm on my laptop alone in my room. Charles is who I really am, and who I hope I can someday feel comfortable being. I hope you can learn to love and accept me the way I do. I hope that maybe through my thoughts and jots you can find solace, maybe even resemblance and some answers to questions you never thought to ask. I hope that we can get through this catastrophe together.

Your humble servant,
Charles Darnell