no. 1

   Do you remember your first kiss? Let me rephrase. Your first real kiss? The feeling of soft, warm, lustful lips colliding with your anxiety filled ones. Oh, and lets not forget the excitement and horror that filled your stomach and made it ache so much that you thought that you would hydro-pump onto your lovers sweater.

   Do you remember the taste of your very first homemade mousse au chocolat that your father said was better than Madame Bouffard's from Lyon?

   Do you remember watching the blissful and ignorant kids running to the playground, flying on the swings, and sliding down the plastic slippery slopes? Do you remember how for the first time in your life, you wished that you could once again not want to feel responsible, mature, grown up?

   Do you remember your first concert? Do you remember how the music was so damn loud and how the bass changed the beating of your heart to coincide with it? Do you remember how for the first time in your life, you felt completely free?

   Do you remember the first time you had a panic attack? You know, the one that happened after you watched It's a Wonderful Life and the scene where the protagonist jumps off the bridge in a suicide attempt terrified you? Do you remember laying on Mom's bed and shaking for over two hours?

   Do you remember the first time you wrote a sonnet? Do you remember how your early teenage angst flowed through the pen and you felt like The Bard of Avon himself? Do you remember how impressed the teacher was? Do you remember how for once in your life, you felt like you could do something and be proud of it?

Do you remember any of this?
No. You don't.
Because they are my memories.
These are just glimpses of the life that I've lead.
These experiences, are what have brought me to this laptop.
Are what have brought me here.
I am here.

Your's wholeheartedly,
Charles Darnell